I need help removing her.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
