He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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