Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
