is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hippo gnu deer
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize