I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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