I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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