I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
