just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
