we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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