we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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