I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
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I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
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I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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