mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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