yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
