Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
