I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
