I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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