Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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