Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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