I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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