batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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