Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize