What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
