I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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