At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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