So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
