why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
