your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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