like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
