i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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