why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
