This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
