the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Green mimosas i think yes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
