his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
