Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
