Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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