apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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