She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
