I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
