She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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