And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
