Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
