Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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