Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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