this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
