Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
