I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
