I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
