He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
