I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
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i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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