not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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