I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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