Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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