I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
