8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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