No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
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Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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