Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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