Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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