I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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