I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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