i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
