i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
