I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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