We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Michael Bay diarrhea
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
