Pappa wants mamma naked
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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