if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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