so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
