It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
