none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
