do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize