There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
