So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
