We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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