yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
