It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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