So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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