You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
