Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
